Every marriage has its ups and downs that is just life. However when you are in a stressful and busy job such as police work it can add more stress on top of any other issues. Divorce rates among cops is staying pretty steady at 75%. If this doesn’t break your heart then I would like to know what does? My husband and I both realized a few months ago how personally we took it when a police family split up. No, they are not blood related but they are in the Police family. Not to mention we do know and care about their family. Yesterday I was reminded again that I do take it personally. It sucks to see a family torn apart! It may be all one parties fault but I would venture to guess it is usually a good combination of both parties that have created the problem. While I don’t know the ins and outs of each families situation I believe that a large majority of problems could be solved with some help and of course prayer. Being a spouse in the Police world or even being the Officer is not easy. As a spouse you do have to realize that policing doesn’t always happen on a schedule like we would like. We also need to realize there will be lots of activities we do alone. Officers will need to realize that their off time NEEDS to include family time. Quality over Quantity. Just because your presence is known in the house doesn’t mean you are connecting with your family. There are different stages in an Officers career that will have to be adjusted to as you go along in life. I will be covering those in blog posts as we go along. I think all too often people have the romanticised version of police work in mind and quickly realize that just because the uniform looks good the job nor the life is always easy. If you are a police family going through tough times, reach out. Staying silent only creates more hurt and confusion. Especially if you haven’t been in the police world very long. You can talk to your dearest friend about your troubles but keep in mind unless they are living in the same world they don’t always get it. Look for a couple who has made it through what you are going through or reach out to many of the blogs and forums available. Just keep in mind, asking your single friend who has no children for marital advice is like asking a Chiropractor about brain surgery. They may know about the body but they don’t know all that they would need to know to answer your questions. They’ve likely never seen a brain, held it, studied it or spent years trying to perfect a procedure for it. I have noticed that there are some officers who are afraid to ask for help or to let their command know that there is a problem. While I don’t think you need to bring your drama to the police dept if it is something that you beleive you truly need help with, reach out. They usually have a therapist they use and hopefully one that knows living on a police salary isn’t always easy and will work with you. Go to your church for help. Just don’t let it continue to get worse without doing something. Families are important! No, marriages can’t always be saved but like anything else it takes work. Not only from the wife either. Both parties may have to sacrifice something or there may be some compomises made. I think it is important for police families to stick together and help each other!
Here are some additional blogs that deal with Police Life:
This is a unique life, try to enjoy it!